Now if you’re reading this then I’m going to assume one of three things about you…
1) You are here because you are thinking about proposing to your girlfriend but you want some advice about whether it’s the right time and you’re reading this because you believe it will be helpful.
2) You are a regular reader of our blog and/or go to a lot of stag parties which is why you’re on our site.
3) You got directed here by accident when you were actually trying to Google “keyboard cat”
Either way, welcome! Hopefully you’ll stick around because in this article I’ll be giving some advice on when is the right time to propose. Now I know there’s a lot of guys out there who’ll say with a big soppy smile “You just know when the time is right.”
What kind of advice is that??? That’s like saying you know when you need to fart most of the time – doesn’t mean you should go ahead and do it (especially if you’re in an elevator!) Anyway if you don’t pay attention the signs first (because trust me – there are always signs) your proposal could fall flat on its face.
To give you a better idea of what I mean, I’m going to tell you a story about my friend John who was with Maggie (yes I have changed the names to save him from embarrassment and her from abuse) for 4 years and they had a relationship that many of our other friends envied. John (after a trip to Bali with her) decided that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Maggie (this always seems like a good idea after weeks of having nothing but steamy beach sex.) So he went out and brought a ring that had a price tag that made my jaw drop. He then planned a romantic dinner for them where he proceeded to propose to her. Now this sounds like the part where she says yes right? Wrong.
Anyway I’m told that “her eyes bulged and she made a strange strangled noise in her throat” before saying that she needed to think about it. She thought about it for 4 days and then decided it was too much so she packed a bag and ran away to Mongolia.
Last I heard she was dating an “adventure blogger” called Chaz.
Needless to say John was pretty crushed and apparently when asked weeks later (she was hard to get hold of in Mongolia) Maggie had confessed that she didn’t actually want to be married to John, even if she did enjoy being with him. And although she loved him she didn’t actually love him (whatever the hell that means…)
So to avoid making the same mistake John did here are my tips…
1) Check to see if there are signs lying around her/your home. These include bridal magazines or magazines centred on weddings. Other common things women; keep wedding idea scrapbooks (yes I agree it’s a little creepy) or have Pinterest boards of wedding stuff. Obviously don’t assume she wants to walk down the aisle straight away just because she catches a bouquet. Keep an eye out for a while and see if this “wedding curious” behaviour continues…
2) Subtly listen out for snippets of gossip from her/her friends/her family. Because believe me you’ll be surprised how much people give away. See if her parents are divorced. Has that affected her belief in marriage at all? Are her friends teasing you and her about “when are you going to set the date?” Or is she more focused on her career? Making note of these things will help you decide whether she wants “till death do you part” or not.
3) Finally try and get her to talk (in a non-committal way) about how she really feels about the relationship and marriage in general. Because believe me (even if you have no interest in it now) if you later decide you do want a wife but you find out she doesn’t want a “ring on it” – it’s going to suck. Big time. So as uncool as it is, try and get this conversation out as soon as comfortably possible (I’m talking months into the relationship here – not days.)
4) Never assume you know what a woman wants – ever.
Now if you’ve done all this and you’re convinced that she’s just waiting for you to pop down on one knee, then make sure you use your gut feeling before doing so. Because most of the time it’s your heart/heads way of letting you know if something is right or not.
Don’t get me wrong sometimes (like John) you can get it horribly wrong but let’s face it life would be pretty boring without risks. Mind you if it does go horribly wrong you can always go and drown your sorrows on what I like to call “a single man’s Leeds stag do…”