It’s fair to say that despite the differences in the modern stag do, there are sure to be certain aspects that are similar; most of which involve alcohol, gentlemen’s clubs and the groom being stripped and tied to the nearest public structure. To many, this is the epitome of a successful stag do and is sure to create fond (or not so fond) memories for each of our sporting staggers to look back on, but for others, the perfect stag do consists of a more relaxed break and a short getaway before tying the knot.

There’s no shortage of relaxing activities to take up for a more chilled stag do, so if you and your mates think it would be more suitable to plan something a little less exhausting then it’s well worth sourcing a few locations that provide mellow activities. Let’s have a quick look at a few weekend activities that will have the groom-to-be heading home relaxed and well rested.

Go Swinging

Or to put it less incriminatingly, go on a golfing weekend. Golf is a relaxing sport that encourages lots of time spent outdoors, in the sun. There are plenty of golf resorts that offer stag deals, with a full tour of the 18 holes and then food and drinks at the bar all included with the price of your accommodation. No need to rush out and buy everyone’s golf bags; most resorts are happy to loan equipment to guests!

One way to ensure a quality golfing break is to book somewhere abroad; you really only have one shot to enjoy a stag do that heavily relies on nice weather, so be sure to book a resort in a warm location.

Deep Sea Fishing

Deep sea fishing has proved to be a fantastic activity for stag lads; fishing enthusiasts are sure to relish in the size and variety of fish they are likely to catch and with expert advice on-board, nothing can go wrong. These days are a great way to keep you and your mates enjoying each other’s company and keep the lads together as a tight group. Do be warned however, deep sea fishing trips tend to take several hours at a time so make sure everyone on the trip won’t suffer from sea sickness.

Hit the Races

An age old favourite! The horse races aren’t really something to build a whole weekend around, unless you are overly attached to these equestrian shenanigans and your pals are made of money. Horse races are a great activity to include in a weekend mash-up of activities; it allows you to leisurely place a few cheeky bets and enjoy a drink or four at the bar before heading to your next destination.

Brewery Tours

Again, not the main point of your stag weekend, but certainly an enjoyable couple of hours! Here you can enjoy some quality banter with your pals and enjoy a variety of beers whilst learning how it’s made and where it came from. Certainly one to consider for the lager enthusiast!

So there you are, a few simple ideas that can help you piece together a chilled weekend for you and the lads.

Any regular readers of Zoo Magazine who braved the rain this morning to capture their copies will have noticed that The Stag Company is once again gracing the hallowed pages in its hunt for Britain’s Most Under the Thumb Man. Check out page 17 to see the trophy in all of its glory, or y’know, just look below. Up to you.

Yep, we’ve been absolutely inundated with entries of the most wet blokes you can imagine, from fellas having to go home early from night’s out because he forgot to put the air freshener on to a man whose girlfriend hid his shoes so he couldn’t go on his stag night. Pretty shocking stuff, I’m sure you’ll agree, but this kind of behaviour is nothing new. If you’ve not got your submission in yet, we hope that this list of 5 fictional under the thumb characters will get you inspired to out your mate.

Top 5 fictional under the thumb characters

5. Hal (Malcolm in the Middle)

Hal was probably the embodiment of a man broken by his wife, Lois, a fierce dragon of a woman. Bryan Cranston, the man who played Hal went on to play Walter White in ABC’s Breaking Bad where he is anything but whipped, as the mild-mannered chemistry teacher metamorphoses into the biggest producer of meth in the south of America. We prefer him like that.

4. George Costanza

George was a great character in the seminal sitcom Seinfeld but JAYSUS, could he moan!? George went on to get engaged to Susan Biddle Ross who was a particularly formidable iron lady until she licked the wrong envelope and went the way of the Dodo.

3. Fred Flinstone

Yeah, Fred talked the talk with all his “Honey, I’m home” spiel but Wilma definitely wore the pants in this relationship. Get the wrong Brontoburger from that place he bought the car-sized rack of ribs from and Wilma would have had Fred right under the cosh.

2. Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey in American Beauty)

It’s a dangerous thing being in a relationship. One minute your calling the shots, the next you’re being forced to take an interest in fabric samples and having your reaction analysed and criticised by the woman in your life. This is exactly what happens to Spacey in American Beauty until he stages something of a mid-life crisis, starts indulging in illicit substances and fantasises over his daughter’s mate (Mena Suvari). It’s one way out of it, I suppose.

1. Dr John Watson (especially played by Martin Freeman in BBC’s Sherlock)

This is one seriously creepy relationship if you ask us. One sure-fire sign that you’ve lost any element of control in a relationship is when you start living your life through your significant other. This is exactly the fate that befalls Dr Watson, so enamoured by Benedict Cumberpatches’ detective that he starts keeping a blog on the subject of him. It’s a transformation for the former army doctor, who in the first episode of the series seems to have quite a lot about him, firing off the shot that saves Sherlock from the taxi driver but by the end of the second series which finished last Sunday, Watson’s a shell of a man – worn down by the dogmatic detective to a nub. Speaking at Sherlock’s grave, he’s fending back tears like the heroine at the climax of a Shakesperian tragedy. An ex-person and for our money, the most under the thumb fictional character around and more than a decent candidate for our Newcastle stag do trip.

Credit: Entertainment Press / Shutterstock.com

The Stag Company has launched a brand new campaign in conjunction with Zoo Magazine to find and rehabilitate Britain’s Most Under the Thumb Man for 2012. There’s no better time than January to take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror and ask the question: where did it all go wrong? You’re living in a house with candles on every spare surface, she’s got her stuff proudly on display while your PS3 is in storage and your pool table’s banished to the garage. Are you reading this on an iPad with a picture of the pair of you hugging in Paris as the wallpaper? Do you need to give a month’s notice for a night out? Is the passcode to your iPhone her birthday? Do you like the outfit you’re wearing today, or does she like it?

Under the Thumb Trophy

NO MORE.

It’s time to take definitive action. Look back at grainy footage of industrial Britain in the early 20th century – men were men back then, they had dirt on their faces, furrowed brows, permanent scowls – what have we become, Britain? We use moisturiser, we condition our hair, we’re losing our masculinity by the day and it’s time to change things – that’s why we’ve teamed up with Zoo Magazine to ask you to either submit yourself or a friend to become Britain’s Most Under the Thumb Man. Once we’ve crowned our winner we’ll whisk them off on the most gruelling of manly weekends, the Newcastle stag do with 5 of your mates, as well as sending your iron lady to Bristol for a spa weekend 300 miles away.

How to Enter

To enter your friend as Britain’s Most Under the Thumb Man 2012, send your submission to underthethumb@zootoday.com to win a lad’s weekend for you and 5 friends including dog racing, hotel accommodation and 2 nights out as well as a spa weekend for the wifey or girlfriend.

5 Signs You Might Be Under the Thumb

• You need to ask permission to go down the pub.
• You’ve seen more than one of the Twilight films at the cinema.
• You talk about “we” rather than “I”, perhaps even combined your names ala Brangelina.
• You leave the room when you have to fart.
• Your friends are magically replaced by her friends.

Terms & Conditions

The Winner’s Prize is a two-night lads’ weekend in Newcastle for six
people, to include:

1) Two nights at a 3* hotel with breakfast
(Friday-Sunday);
2) Lapdancing club entry on Friday;
3) Casino entry on
Friday & Saturday;
4) Nightclub entry on Friday & Saturday;
5) Saturday
night at the dogs, 6.30pm start (includes admission, three free drinks,
a race card and a hot snack per person).
6) Travel to Newcastle not
included.
7) Weekend extras (lunch and Friday night meal not included
and drink unless stated not included).
Must be booked by 31 August 2012.
9) Dates subject to availability.
10) Not in conjunction with any other
offer.
11) £100 off for Facebook likes for stag do groups of 16 people or over.

So here we are in January, statistically speaking the most depressing month on the calendar so it’s little wonder that this is the month where we find ourselves inundated with enquiries for stag weekends. It seems that the only way to rid ourselves of the January blues is by inserting a bright spot on the horizon with a weekend of balls-out debauchery in the guise of a weekend in the UK or a stag do abroad. For Thai boxer Michael Dicks of Darlington, however, the stag do is nothing less than a gruelling series of challenges designed to prepare him for a Premier League fight and world title tilt.

It’s not just for personal glory that Michael Dicks is heading for the Brecon Beacons with a host of fighters from around the country, he’ll also be raising money for the NSPCC. The format of the weekend will see two teams of 15 competing across a series of events, including: a 31 mile bike ride, a seven-mile kayak and the notorious Fan Dance – a 24km walk across gnarly terrain with a 32lb rucksack in tow that only a third of participants are expected to complete.

Paul Hamilton, Dicks’ trainer and best man said:

“It’s definitely very different.

A lot of people in the gym would be bored if we went for a run around South Park and a kayak across the park lake.

Whether it’s fighting or just training, people like a challenge in here.”

I guess a stag do Newcastle style just ain’t good enough for some people.

Each participant will pay their own way for the trip and raise sponsorship money to give to the NSPCC. Liz Stokoe, NSPCC community fundraising manager for the North East said:

“We are always very grateful to people who fundraise for the NSPCC.

This is certainly a very unusual and tough fundraising challenge and we wish Michael all the best in February.”

After this frankly exhausting-sounding stag do, Dicks fights for the world title at the O2 Arena in March and marries fiancee, Samantha Beck on May 12.

To find out how you can strike a knockout blow on your stag do, visit the home of stag do ideas and find out more about our KO’d package.

In an artistic move of Banksy-esque cunning and stealth, a Polish student has hung one of his works in a local art gallery without permission. Not wanting to wait ’30 or 40 years’ to see his art on public display, Andrzej Sobiepan took matters into his own hands by covertly added it to a room containing modern art similar to his piece whilst the security guard had his back turned. The stunt was clearly a success, because in a matter of days young Sobiepan was getting loads of national and international media attention, telling reporters he hoped it would encourage galleries to feature more work by young artists. What’s more, the painting was allowed to remain in the gallery, albeit in the building’s cafe. Still, kudos to the chap!

Speaking of the art of surprise, we’ve just launched a new Krakow stag do package which will catch the groom-to-be totally unawares. He is ‘kidnapped’ and bundled into a car to be taken away for interrogation, KGB-style, before being returned to you a terrified wreck later on. Luckily for him we’ve arranged a guided pub crawl as part of the package, so those nerves can be nicely calmed with a few ales.

For the secretive stag do Krakow is top notch and there are plenty of other ways to surprise the big man. For example he’ll never believe in a million years that you could be partying it up like Hugh Heffner in a jacuzzi whilst watching an erotic strip show but that’s exactly what you could be doing out in Poland’s second city on the stag weekend of dreams.

Similarly, he’d probably think you’re bonkers if you say that you’ve got a private tram full of strippers lined up. Again, anything is possible with our help out in Krakow!

If you don’t fancy heading all the way over to Poland we can definitely sort you out with something similar up and down the UK. Stag weekends don’t get any better than this!

Doubting Thomas, having been sent to India by Christ to work on the construction of the King’s palace, is the patron saint of carpentry. He is also the patron saint of marriage, to those in Hungary at least. December 21 is Thomas’ Day in the country and is marked with a mass feast consisting of plenty of local pork products, the killing of pigs and subsequent banquets being symbolic of the year ending and a new one beginning.

As for the marriage part, legend has it that Hungarian women used to walk around the village knocking on the gates of houses to see if a dog would bark at them. According to the tradition, the woman’s future husband would emerge from the dwelling that housed the barking dog. Wonder if it would work in reverse for single members of a Budapest stag do? Give it a go!

Local folk the country over were seen to be tucking into steaming plates of sausage-related fayre, with plenty of goulash seeing the light of day. It is like an early Christmas lunch, a late Thanksgiving, the celebration of love and life and food. Sounds perfect to us!

A stag do in Budapest follows pretty much the same route, as visitors to the city take serious advantage of the excellent food and drink on offer wherever they look. The good news is that even a slap-up meal will set you back far less than it would do back home, so you won’t feel the pinch on wallets at Arany Kaviar, an amazing restaurant serving up traditional Russian grub down by Buda Castle. The five-course tasting menu, including drinks, costs just £40! Bargain!

For the best of the pig world get yourselves into Haxen Király Brewery & Restaurant, where braised pork knuckle comes alongside mugs of freshly brewed Paulaner lager.

Get involved on one of the best Budapest stag party packages in 2012 and get ready for a feast!

If you’ve delayed making your Amsterdam stag do bow until now, you might want to get your skates on as the city gears up to scale back on its “city of vice” reputation. A ten-year scheme is being unveiled, with the “project 1012″ name being attached to potentially bring an end to the brothels and cannabis shops that the city is famed for, particularly on the more risqué brand of stag weekends that have become synonymous with the Dutch city.

If you’ve been to the red light district in Amsterdam you’ll be familiar with the “windows” where the ladies of the night appear to tout their wares, well, the city is bidding farewell to 200 of the total 480 of these windows and 26 of the coffee shops will close, bringing the number crashing down to 50. So, not exactly the death of Amsterdam stag do ideas, but certainly a tapering back of the burgeoning sex, drugs and money laundering industry that is said to be increasingly controlled by Eastern European gangsters.

The head of the Project 1012 and assistant mayor of Amsterdam, Lodewijk Asscher said: “”There had been warning signs starting in the 1990s that organised crime was basically using the area as its living room,”

“Amsterdam has always been a free and tolerant city, but we want to place more emphasis on museums and culture. We want to attract more families and encourage visitors to spend an extra night here.”

Meanwhile, two Dutch TV presenters have been accused of cannibalism in the country after eating parts of eachother live on air infront of a live TV audience. Dennis Storm and Valerio Zeno removed small pieces of muscle from their own bodies and fed them to eachother in a challenge they branded, “no big deal”.

Dennis shrugged: “There’s really nothing special about human meat. It is weird to look into the eyes of a friend when you are chewing on his belly. It was just a few centimetres of meat – and now I have a good story about the scar”.

Yikes, think that might even be a little far for us, though we’re not shy of a dare on stag nights. Don’t get any big ideas, The Stag Company does not promote cannibalism, with or without consent.

Don’t have nightmares.

Just as in the cartoon series Futurama, where an entire city lies beneath 31st century ‘New New York’, a labyrinth of bars, clubs, museums and mines also lays hidden underneath the cobbled streets of Krakow. This ‘subterranean city’ demands to be explored regardless of what time of year it is, however it is during the cold and dark winter months that the city’s underground is of most use to those of you heading on a Krakow stag do. Rather than chilling to the bone and freezing your swingers off hopping between watering holes and tourist attractions above ground, it is reassuring to know that you can keep warm and dry whilst enjoying all manner of good stuff beneath the surface.

Perhaps you’ve picked up a chill doing some white water rafting out at the Polish Olympic Training Centre. No bother, for CK Browar is on hand to help out. An underground beer garden famous for three-litre beer towers, it brews its own unfiltered, unpasteurised amber nectar. The CK Ginger comes especially recommended, giving off a natural ginger aroma, obviously! The beer here is all brewed right in front of the punters, so you’re never in doubt that what you are guzzling is as fresh as they come.

For the underground clubbing stag do Krakow throws up some pleasant surprises. Prozak, despite its name, is a pretty cheery place, with walls covering in fairy lights, avant-garde artwork and a programme of live music being pumped through the vaults on a nightly basis.

But why the obsession with the underground? Well, residents will tell you that its because they absolutely love their beer, and that beer is best produced in a cold, dark place. Fair enough we say! It also turns out that the market square is five metres higher than it was 1000 years ago, roads in the city being built on top of one another. Krakow, the Subterranean City, one of those stag do ideas you won’t find on Google Maps!

If you thought that England’s football team pitching up in Krakow for Euro 2012 was a titanically bad idea due to the temptations that surround their base, you’ll be even further horrified with their choice of pre-tournament training complex. We love a Marbella stag do here at The Stag Company, but would we recommend sending what are effectively 23 overgrown 18-year olds to this home to bars, beautiful beach-dwelling girls and nightclubs right before a football tournament? We certainly would not.

The draw for the tournament that will take place in Poland and Ukraine took place last Friday and England were drawn in a group along with France, Sweden and the hosts Ukraine and will look to make amends after a desperately disappointing World Cup 2010 in South Africa. As alluded to above, the FA have faced heavy criticism for their decision to put the England squad in the centre of Krakow, especially since the draw meant that England would spent more time in Ukraine than Poland, making for an enormous round-trip for the team. England boss Fabio Capello was keen to dismiss this talk of England taking a tour of some of Europe’s homes to stag weekends by saying:

“We will go to Marbella for five or six days, I know the facilities there very well because it has been used by teams like Fiorentina and Bayern Munich for a long time. A lot of teams prepare there. I picked Austria last year because we needed to train at altitude. Now we need to find a warm place where we can work as a group and there are no problems for training.”

“The travel will not be a problem. The security we have [in Krakow] will be the same as in South Africa, but I know that people will only relax if we are winning. I saw what happened in New Zealand [with the England rugby union side] – a lot of ‘relaxing’. If you are winning games, everything is perfect, everything is good. If you lose, people say everything is ‘boring’, the security [is too much], you’re tired. Everything becomes a problem.”

So there you have it, if you’re heading out on a stag do Marbella or Krakow style next summer, be sure to take along your autograph book…

Picture: Alexander Gordeyev / Shutterstock.com

Time for a break from the usual stag do ideas and stag stories to bring you some wedding news hot off the press…

A man who was committing benefit fraud has been sensationally shopped after being video recorded dancing at a wedding, despite claiming £66,000 a year in disability which he used to pay for a masters degree and a PHD. Mohamed Bouzalim was claiming asylum in the UK and claiming he was the victim of torture at the hands of the Taliban. It seems that Bouzalim may have been geographically challenged seeing as he is from Morocco – not a country that sees much of the late Osama Bin Laden’s terror mongering outfit. Let’s hope he didn’t spend those benefits on a stag do Barcelona style, with those hip swings he could give Leo Messi a run for his money…

As scams go, I’m not sure that this one is as likeable as Frank Abagnale’s as depicted in the Leonardo Di Caprio film, Catch Me If You Can. Bouzalim certainly wasn’t as wily, getting caught through his incessant need to dance, as you can see – he at least has some decent moves…

Bouzalim had claimed benefits for a decade, claiming he was unable to walk and in his time in Britain he claimed a whopping £400,000 tax-free all funded by the tax-payers of the UK. During the investigation after the video was first brough to their attention in 2009, the Met Police followed the man, secretly filming him walking unaided down the street – talk about bang to rights.

Robert Coxhead, senior investigating officer from the UKBA Criminal and Financial Investigation team, said: “Mohamed Bouzalim was a top class fraudster and con artist. His whole life was a lie.”

“What’s worse about it is there are so many needy people out there who perhaps don’t have the access to the benefits they should do and here is a man perfectly able, an intelligent man and he’s deceived a number of different organisations.”

The man had a converted 2 bed flat which had wheelchair access and he claims about £2,000 a month in benefits including housing benefits, independent living fund, income support and disability living allowance.

We’ve got some new packages available for your Barcelona stag do, so please visit or call 01273 225 070 to find out more.