Fry Ups, We Salute.

There’s nothing better than eating a plate load of dead animal and fat the morning after drinking enough to make Oliver Reed blush. We all know Britain has the best diet for cardiac arrest so it wouldn’t be a stag blog without some ode to the umble fry up.

A Fry up, Also know as a “full English”, “cooked breakfast” isn’t limited to breakfast time, and on stag weekends morning doesn’t really exist unless you haven’t gone to bed the night before. England has relaised however that people need fry ups every hour of the day and most cafes will serve them all day long for the hard working drinkers amongst us who need something substantial and greasy to set us up for second shift.

Standard stars featured in the full English are:

Bacon
Eggs
Sausage
Black pudding
Toast
Mushrooms
Tomatoes
Beans
Hash browns
Half a tomato

Beware the hotels that might try and dress up breakfast and instead offer kippers, kedgeree or pastries for breakfast. This is not what you want when you are lord of the stags. The meal you are after should be fried, (grilled only if you have a pace maker, concrete arteries, are over 65 or pregnant…) and fill a plate. There should be no salad garnish like some modern places have tried to slip on. Should you be presented with this, remove from the plate and deposit in the Stag’s tea or coffee.

In  researching fry ups we sent a special team to find everything they could about fry ups around the UK and Northeren Ireland. Their findings are as follows.

In England it’s called a Full English
In Ireland it’s called a Full Irish
In Scotland it’s called the Full Scottish
In Wales it’s called the Full Welsh
In Northern Ireland it’s called the Ulster Fry

We’re not sure what the team did with the grants and funding

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