Guess what? The Only Way is Essex’s stars have gone for a Marbella stag weekend.
Probably best I start this blog with a confession, though not one I feel particularly guilty on. I hope you’re sitting down. Ready?
I have never watched The Only Way is Essex.
Confession part 2: I wasn’t even entirely sure what it was.
Still, your humble Stag Company scribe is no stranger to research. After hours of painful research I have concluded the following.
The Only Way is Essex is about a bunch of spoilt, manicured trogs who do precious little all day, ‘cept talk about their feelings, and stuff. They’re vacuous individuals with little or no recognition for more important wider issues that bear no relevance to their synthetic existences that people voyeur in on in the same way people used to visit freak shows. Am I right?
Well, I can see the appeal – as an excercise on feeling better about oneself, TOWIE (as I believe it’s abbreviated to) is excellent, cringeworthy viewing – the likes of which not seen since Katie Price and Kerry Katona’s “reality” TV vehicles.
Yes, it’s true Arg (?) and Mark and co have descended upon Marbella to see off one of their pals, that old card, Timothy Langer’s stag do. And why not? Marbella is (was ’til now) home to wonderful nightlife and a number of incredible activities guaranteed to inject that all-important party spirit into your stag weekend. The good news if you’re looking for somewhere to have your stag is that TOWIE stars are set to leave there soon. Give it a week and I reckon the pungent tang of fake tan and nasty aftershave will have vacated, leaving you to enjoy the fruits of Marbella. Think of yourself as an ambassador for your country, to renew Marbella’s faith in our country.
Oh, and apparently one of them who’s in a relationship has been caught flirting with a girl he used to be with, even though he’s going out with another one of them, who isn’t in Marbella.
Sorry, too vague? This isn’t Heat magazine, jog on.