“If I have it my way we’ll all be going to Benidorm on a big lads’ trip.

“It’ll be amazing – drinking, partying and strippers. Not sure what Michelle will think about it, but it’s a stag trip so we can do what we want”

Oof, Skykes not trying to win any favours from Keegan, there – we’ll be sure to keep you posted on that front. Fortunately for Sykes, drinking, partying and strippers are at a ready supply on Benidorm stag weekends meaning the boys of The Wanted won’t be found… wanting. Mega-soz.

Perhaps the boys should also consider Marbella, which undoubtedly has its own ample charms, too…

The cast of The Only Way is Essex recently made quite the splash on their very unique brand of stag weekends Marbella style. Not only were there rumours and speculation abound as to the level of treachery on show in Marbella’s plentiful pubs and clubs, but there was further evidence of why this Spanish sizzler is more than punching its weight as a top destination for groups of banter seeking lads the UK over.

We’ve got an enormous range of packages and activities in this sangria-centric sunspot to ensure that your stag weekend is a hit with all of the boys. We’re particularly big fans of The Business stag weekend package that allows you to sample a slice of the good life on your big lad’s trip away. A luxury beach day and enough ale to down a large mammal are pre-requisites for the perfect stag do for your groom-to-be.

The hit series is apparently marking Newcastle out as a target for the most despicable of invaders from North of the Border – these brutish oafs are allegedly guilty of acts of anti-social behaviour, including swearing, playing loud music and shouting – causing a British Transport Police spokeswoman to say, enough is enough.

Sgt Stephanie Reynolds, from British Transport Police, said: “Passengers have reported problems from large groups travelling on the trains for their anti-social behaviour, often swearing, playing loud music and shouting – disturbing other passengers from their journey on their way to stag weekends.

“We have had officers on these services and at stations warning revellers of their behaviour which has seen a reduction of incidents.

“However, we are not complacent and will continue have officers onboard to reduce this issue.”

This flies in the face of last month, when Kerry Taylor, the director of MTV said that Geordie Shore, far from being detrimental to the image of Newcastle, was actually a positive influence,

“The show has got some slightly outrageous pieces, and we’re absolutely not trying to represent the north-east.

“[But] I do think the qualities that come across in the characters – their warmth, their sense of loyalty to each other and their sense of humour – are really admirable qualities and I think that’s a really positive perspective on the north-east.”

Sgt Reynolds was not convinced, however, as she added,

“We aren’t out to spoil your party. Newcastle is a beautiful city full of culture and fantastic night life. We want everyone to enjoy themselves, but would warn visitors not to spoil the party for anyone else.

“Anti-social behaviour and over indulging in alcohol will not be tolerated on the rail network and we will continue to put officers on services to reassure passengers and staff.”

Make your own mind up, people – but be sure to board the good ship fun times, with a stag do Newcastle stylee.

This ban comes as the respected travel guide book dubbed Newquay, “more Costa Del Sol than Cornwall” and has caused local residents to express concern about the eyes and minds of the town’s children.

Police are under strict instruction to cofiscate any crude inflatables, props or clothing that may offend residents or other visitors from stag weekends the town over.

Dave Sleeman is the chairman of Newquay Town Residents Association and according to him, enough is enough:

“I recently saw a guy who was half-naked hanging out of a window with a sex toy and shouting at women in the street – it was ten o’clock in the morning”

May we suggest a watershed? Perhaps you can only take your inflatable other half out after 9pm? Or perhaps they should be attired if going out during the day?

Sleeman continues:

“I don’t see why we should have that in our town. There are people who come here for Friday and Saturday and make the town centre a no-go area”

Don’t think yer man, Sleeman quite grasps the concept of tourist dollar, there.

Ian Drummond-Smith of Devon and Cornwall Police, said:

“People come down to have a good time and the majority don’t want to see these things.

“If the ban discourages people from coming, so be it – we have got think about the families”

Won’t somebody PLEASE think about the children!??

Ahem, sorry. Yep, so Newquay stag weekends will never be the same again. If you want to keep hold of your inflatable woman, probably best to leave at her home, chaps.

In a stag weekend prank that horribly backfired, Darren Kelly joined up with the Dublin stag weekend party after a night shift at work before mistakenly downing a drink with a legal substance procured from a shop in the city. The 38 year old man was sacked from his newspaper round (yep) and handed a 200 euro fine for possession of a weapon and theft after being caught trying to sneak a pair of jeans past security barriers at a menswear shop.

According to character witnesses, Kelly is “not a big drinker” and his masterplan was thwarted by a security man who noticed the tin foil lined bag he tried to sneak the jeans out with. The man admitted theft but denied carrying the weapon with the intention to use it, pointing to its use in opening packages in his newspaper round.

The stag do would-be thief, who has seven previous convictions was found to have insufficient evidence that he required the weapon for work by Judge Toale. The defence lawyer, Cathal O Braonain said,

“He was out partying with friends, he mistakenly took a drink that was spiked with some substance from a head shop,” Mr O Braonain said. “Following on from that, he lost the plot and ended up doing something extremely foolish.”

Kelly was allegedly very apologetic in the police station, meaning his penalty wasn’t the harshest. Quite the stag do, right?

For stag weekend packages in Dublin that will hopefully not end up in court, have a little look-see gander at our website.

Daniel Lackey was due to appear on the Wednesday morning but didn’t appear until 2.30pm, as the court’s day had already been wrapped up for the day.

The man’s legal adviser Gerard Rees confirmed that Lackey had not shown because of the stag weekend but did not know he was tied to rails.

Rees said,

“In regards of failing to show, he has given his explanation to the court. Indeed, it is the first time that I have heard the full explanation from him.

“I believe he was literally tied up to some railings and the other people who were on the stag do left him there.”

Lackey had been attending his brother’s Blackpool stag do when the prank had been pulled. Friends like these, eh?

Mr Lackey confirmed the reason for his no-show to the unamused judge,

“I was at my brother’s stag-do, yes.”

When quizzed on whether he would break the original order, Lackey was far from repentant,

He said: ‘She [my partner] says to me when we have an argument that I have to go.
‘It’s not something that I always have to aggravate. I believe that I may break it again.’

Oh dear. On a serious note, if you are heading off on stag weekends where one of your party has a court hearing the next day – tying him to railings, with handcuffs or otherwise, probably isn’t the fairest thing to do. Especially if it isn’t even his stag do.

Find out more about Blackpool stag weekends here.

These parties are aimed at first time Dads who are “celebrating” another landmark in their journeys away from innocent times of y’know, having friends and stuff.

Carley Ronay, a maternity blogger of thebump.com attributes the rise of these celebrations to being the true last night of freedom:

“People are like, ‘You wouldn’t believe it: you’re not going to get any sleep and you’re never going to have sex again’…the picture of parenthood that’s been painted is so dire, it seems like you do need a last night of freedom.”

These blow-outs are very similar to the stag night, where the man rounds up a bunch of his most loyal, probably despicable friends in an admission that there will be a widening chasm between them from now on. It wouldn’t be like this if we had state-subsidised childcare like France or Denmark… sob.

On the plus side, if you missed out on a stag weekend Riga style first time around, when you got married, this could finally be your chance. Send a link to Carley Ronay’s blog to your missus and you just got yourself another hall-pass.

“In the (19)50s it all fell on the girls,” Roney said. “Now, it’s a shared responsibility. Guys are just as overwhelmed by the thought of how much their lives are going to change. This is the antidote to that, the hedge against it.”

“The picture of parenthood that’s been painted is so dire, it seems like you do need a last night of freedom.”

Quite. Putting on our serious caps: perhaps a celebration of new fatherhood is much more healthy than mourning the death of your childhood. Just a thought, Ronay.

“The guys checked into the W and partied non-stop for three days,” a source told People magazine. “Mike will be marrying into the Royal Family in less than two months but he is obviously getting everything out of his system now!”

With 7 of his best friends around him, Tindall enjoyed an 8 hour drinking session at the hotel pool while mucking around before heading out to a local steakhouse for a meal. It was there that the 32 year old was dared to drink a bucket of red wine, causing him to pass out, not that this would stop the ox-like machine,

“After he did it, he nearly fell asleep and the guys had to help carry him out,” said the source. “Then they partied more at Wall.”

He was back functioning again the next day back at a nearby pool party before taking this stag weekend of stag weekends to LIV for late-night bash where the boys set to work on building up a staggering $20,000 tab after hitting the champagne and vodkas.

An onlooker said,

“He was having fun with his buddies, they were down and dirty and having a blast.”

Meanwhile his bride to be was with David Beckham launching preparations for London 2012. They were searching for a torchbearer to carry the Olympic flame across the country with the games now just a year away.

It’s unclear what Phillips plans to do on our hen weekend, but we’d put our money on a quieter affair than Tindall’s blow-out in Florida. Credit to him, it looks like a seriously top stag do!

Probably best I start this blog with a confession, though not one I feel particularly guilty on. I hope you’re sitting down. Ready?

I have never watched The Only Way is Essex.

Confession part 2: I wasn’t even entirely sure what it was.

Still, your humble Stag Company scribe is no stranger to research. After hours of painful research I have concluded the following.

The Only Way is Essex is about a bunch of spoilt, manicured trogs who do precious little all day, ‘cept talk about their feelings, and stuff. They’re vacuous individuals with little or no recognition for more important wider issues that bear no relevance to their synthetic existences that people voyeur in on in the same way people used to visit freak shows. Am I right?

Well, I can see the appeal – as an excercise on feeling better about oneself, TOWIE (as I believe it’s abbreviated to) is excellent, cringeworthy viewing – the likes of which not seen since Katie Price and Kerry Katona’s “reality” TV vehicles.

Enough pre-amble.

Yes, it’s true Arg (?) and Mark and co have descended upon Marbella to see off one of their pals, that old card, Timothy Langer’s stag do. And why not? Marbella is (was ’til now) home to wonderful nightlife and a number of incredible activities guaranteed to inject that all-important party spirit into your stag weekend. The good news if you’re looking for somewhere to have your stag is that TOWIE stars are set to leave there soon. Give it a week and I reckon the pungent tang of fake tan and nasty aftershave will have vacated, leaving you to enjoy the fruits of Marbella. Think of yourself as an ambassador for your country, to renew Marbella’s faith in our country.

Oh, and apparently one of them who’s in a relationship has been caught flirting with a girl he used to be with, even though he’s going out with another one of them, who isn’t in Marbella.

Sorry, too vague? This isn’t Heat magazine, jog on.

A source said:

“Kate’s seen Snoop at loads of festivals and she really wants him at her wedding. They’ve had talks and Snoop loves the idea of performing.”

“Kate wants it to be a party to remember and like a small festival,” the friend said. “She has drawn up her dream list of artists she wants to play and is wasting no time asking them… Her pals are dubbing it Kate’s mini-Glasto from the line-up she has in mind. It’s turning into a whole weekend celebration.”

Other rumoured acts included Beth Ditto of Gossip fame and even, The Rolling Stones.

Snoop himself has finally spoken about why his rumoured slot at Prince William’s London stag weekend never happened, claiming only a prior engagement kept him off the bill:

“I had a barbecue to attend, so I couldn’t make it,” Snoop told Graham Norton on his chat show,

He was also asked if he had any advice for Wills on his upcoming married life…

“Yeah, I’ve been married 14 going on 15 years, so I know what I’m doing.

“Trying to build a relationship with someone who sees you on television and tries to base their life off of who you are is not real. You need someone who knows who you really are,”

Wise words, indeed, from the man who brought the world ditties such as, Drop It Like It’s Hot and Doggumentary.

Who would you have performing at your stag party? The best answer wins a prize*.

*there will be no prize.

The man, Paul Douglas, a butcher from near Edinburgh was returning from a stag weekend in Krakow,

“We spoke to the cabin crew but all they said was that they had spoken to him and he was fine, so not to worry.

“Not long after, however, he went and stood at the main door with one of the emergency instruction cards and appeared to be studying it carefully while looking at the door.

“At that point, passengers started screaming in horror and the cabin crew were as shocked and terrified as the rest of us. One of the air hostesses said she had only been working for three months and was so upset — she hadn’t a clue what to do.

“As a result, a few folk including myself went over to try and restrain him. By the time I got close to him a few others had thankfully managed to tie him up with seatbelts and were sitting on him so he couldn’t move.”

An Easyjet spokesman added, “The aircraft landed safely and the passenger was arrested. Safety is our number one priority.

“The crew are fully trained to handle such events and at no time was passenger safety compromised.”

Comfort in these dark times – it seems the skies aren’t yet safe – even after the assassination of Bin Laden…

If you would like to know more about our stag weekends, click the link a few inches to your left. It might save your life.