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Joint Hen And Stag Do - Sten Party & Hag Do

14 Mar 2022

Joint Hen And Stag Do - Sten Party & Hag Do

Categories: Things To Try

Stag and Hen do’s are a celebration of the end of one’s bachelorhood or spinsterhood.  So … it would seem logical that many of us want to celebrate this momentous event with both the groom’s troop and the bride’s girlfriends.

Joint hen and stag weekends, or “sten” or "hag" do’s, could be seen as a more civilised choice when it comes to the pre-matrimonial tradition.

Women place immense pressure on their weekend with a heavy itinerary and aim to strive for perfection! Men, on the other hand, seem to feel their stag do has been a great success when they’ve passed out by 9 and wake up with little recollection, a throbbing headache and very empty pockets.

So there seems an argument in the fact that genders joining forces could shake a little more class and sophistication into the night for you men and could also spice things up for you women with less pressure to impress your girls!

Increasing numbers of young people with large groups of mutual friends are opting to combine the boys and the girls when planning their pre-wedding fun– a moment shared is a moment to cherish!

cocktails for the lads

Can You Have A Hen And Stag Do Together?

Of course you can, these are increasingly common and are a great option if you have friends of mixed genders.

There are many activities that both men and women would love to do and shouldn't be an issue to book.

What Are The Most Common Sten Do Activities?

Some of the best sten do activities involve the night out, unsurprisingly, so it could involve bar crawls, nightclub entry and potentially a beer tasting or cocktail making session.

During the day, there are plenty of great activities that you might want to consider, such as assault courses, or for a more childish option, an inflatable assault course.

What Are The Benefits Of A Joint Stag And Hen Do?

One key benefit is that the groom can have all their friends along, regardless of tradition or some old stereotypes.

At the end of the day, isnt' this the most important factor, their happiness?

Another benefit is that some people get nervous about what goes down on a stag or hen do and they might feel more assured if it's a mixed gender event, thinking it won't be as 'naughty'.

What Are Some Negatives To A Sten Do?

The first negative is that, once you invite one female friend, others may want to come. Then it might stretch to girlfriends/wives of people attending.

This can create an issue with numbers, but also it can create an issue with guys who were hoping to catch up with their mate and spend some quality time, yet somehow this has become a couples holiday.

As you can imagine, the singles of the group might feel weird about it being a mixed gender group, firstly on the chance of being left out, or because they might want to do some of the more 'naughty' activities.

Another negative factor can be making them awkward. What if people in the group start hitting on them? What if they don't feel comfortable doing certain activities? These are all questions you'll have to ask yourself, and potentially that friend to make sure they are comfortable.

I attended my sisters hen do, she had a Butler in the Buff, did I feel weird? Not at all! I had a great laugh, but some people may feel awkward, so it's always better to talk and ask questions.

But the big final point, will your partner get jealous about people of the other gender attending? Do they have jealous tendencies in general? How will they react when you say a girl is coming to your stag do, or a guy to your hen do? I can certainly say I've had ex partners that were the jealous type and this would have got them concerned. 

The one thing I would say to you is, if they love and trust you enough to get married, then they should trust you enough to have friends of the other gender, this shouldn't stop you from going ahead.

What Do The Stats Say?

The "hag" night's popularity is at an all-time high. A poll conducted by Skyscanner asked 750 members of the public if they were for or against the idea.

33% of women and 30% of men thought the joint affair would be a great idea. According to a Warner Breaks survey of 4,000 young British adults, more than half have invited or intended to invite both genders to their send-offs.

The Daily Mail shows that there has been a 100% rise in the mix-gender affair over the last year, so you guys and girls wouldn’t be alone in eschewing the tradition of a single sex celebration.

Think about it, with more people, larger groups and a bigger budget you and your friends could experience more over your weekend without the worry of who’s giving your fiancé that lap dance.

The likelihood is that you know your fiancés group of friends and they know yours. You’ve probably all hung out together before, so why not celebrate the most exciting night of freedom, boozing and partaking in wild activities…all together?

Whilst The Stag Company doesn't officially offer these joint parties under a particular banner, inviting the girls along to a build-your-own stag weekend or vice versa is perfectly acceptable.

You could tell your mates you’ve grown up and you want your Mrs at the party… so strippers are off the cards.
Sten Do

We all know that men like ruckus and have a tendency to cause a few problems on their stag night and we understand that stag weekends have a reputation for bringing anti-social behaviour to cities around the UK and Europe.

Dublin was one of the first major cities that banned groups on stags in 1998.  No less than 34 pubs and hotels banned stag and hen weekends to diminish barbaric, ‘laddish’ behaviour.

Other instances on the continent have arisen issues of lost passports and brought higher crime rates to some of Europe’s capital cities.

The British embassy often receives reports or is inundated by drunken Brits who have been arrested, robbed or are too drunk to find their hotels.

In June 2007, poor Steven Mullone from Worcester was arrested for skinny-dipping in a fountain in Slovakia’s capital Bratislava. He was sentenced to two months in jail for what he coined ‘banter’.

He only just made it back home in time for his wedding after British diplomats lobbied hard on his behalf.

On the other hand, us Girls suffer the horrible generalisation that people think all of us want pampering on a spa day out and that getting our hair done is the ideal way to spend our hen weekend and precious pennies.

Many of us are up for a bit of rough a tumble and a bit of masculine competition as well. So let us rip on the go-karting tracks with you guys!

A customer of The Stag Company had this to say, "My mates, drunk, out with my bird's mates? Recipe for disaster..."  So it seems it’s not for everyone and we can fully understand those of you wanting your girls’ do’s and lads’ nights out.

However, this could be a new and accepted trend. Many have made it a night to remember and argued that the wedding celebration was altogether better as everyone knew each other more intimately.

Despite some of you being a little suspect about men and women getting messy together, others don’t need as much convincing. At The Stag Company we can certainly see some of the benefits:

  • If your single pals haven't pulled by the end of the night then they have ample opportunity to make a swift move onto one of the groom’s or bride’s friends.
  • You will perhaps be more conscious of your disorderly behavior, preventing yourself from drinking to oblivion because the opposite sex will be there to judge your every move. Classy men get classy ladies!
  • There’s no hiding or no “I was drunk” with diminished responsibility.
  • The likelihood of you being arrested like Steve Mullone will be reduced.


Could these “hag” parties be responsible for a turning tide in the traditions of the pre-wedding party?

We think that the “sten” or “hag” nights could have carved the path of the future. Mixed celebrations always go down a treat. You can mix and match typical hen and stag activities for hilarious results: try go-karting followed by a spa and leisure suite or paintballing followed by Dirty Dancing dance lessons…you’ll be a pint away from a super night out with your besties.

Get in touch with us and ask what we can put together to accommodate you ladies and gents. We can try and sculpt you the weekend of boozy dreams. We’d love to know if we’ve convinced you to celebrate with your other half!



Tom Bourlet

Tom Bourlet

Tom is our SEO expert and Senior Digital Marketer at The Stag Company. He has a huge passion for travelling, playing the saxophone, the gym and completing as many life experiences as possible.

View all posts by Tom Bourlet

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