How to avoid cheating on a stag do - a gentle reminder

19 Feb 2015

How to avoid cheating on a stag do - a gentle reminder

Categories: Things To Try

I’m going to tell you a story about my cousin (We’ll call him K to spare him from eternal humiliation) a story which was later told to me by my dad. My cousin K was getting married and he had his stag do in my native homeland Thailand - specifically Pattaya. Now Pattaya for those who have never been is the equivalent of a beach side Amsterdam but in Thailand... and minus the canals and arty culture. Anyway, K and the rest of the lads had been drinking a lot during the day. So by the time night closed in they were in a go go bar faster than you could shout, “mini skirt!” Fast forward a bit and K was tonguing a rather angular lady who was doing a great job of coaxing drinks out of him. Now having spent a lot of time in Thailand my dad was an expert at spotting lady boys. He told K he thought the lady was actually a man. K didn’t believe him… Long story short they all went to a back alley, bribed the lady 500 baht to lift up her skirt and before you know it, K was puking up everything from that night and the lady (read: lady boy) was 500 baht richer. The morale of the story? Don’t cheat on your stag do, it’s immoral and you could be groping a dude (albeit a pretty one.) Seriously though, the whole “what happens on tour stays on tour” mentality doesn’t work in the age of social media. It’ll come out, one way or another: it always does. Whether it’s an accidental photo uploaded onto Facebook or an angry drunken proclamation by your mate. Save yourself the aggro and just avoid doing it in the first place. If you’re not the stag and a single man then of course go for it, but if you’re taken then do I really have to tell you to keep it in your pants? Because the truth is, you may think you and the stripper/go go dancer have a connection but you really don’t. It’s her job to make you feel sexy and special and it’s not your heart she’s after - it’s your money. Remember that: no matter how mesmerising her booty/booby shake is - you're a business transaction. Let me put it like this... if one of your mates paid her to give a lap dance to a Cadbury's Dairy Milk bar he put on a chair - she'd probably do it (trust me, I have interviewed strippers before.) Yeah... suddenly it's not so sexy now is it? So what's the trick to not cheating on your stag do? Morals and self control. Don't think you can control yourself? Then maybe it's time to reconsider why you're getting married in the first place...


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