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Advice from the other gender… How to invite an ex to your wedding (without pissing anyone off)

Advice from the other gender… How to invite an ex to your wedding (without pissing anyone off)

Categories: Wedding Advice For Men

We live in a modern era where bracelets track our fitness (not to mention sleep, carbs…), having a smart phone means you can now buy a goat in Tunisia and we can in a civilised and friendly manner invite ex's to important life events. Right...? Well, you’d think so but unlike the previously mentioned items, no hearts were broken with those (unless someone was really looking forward to receiving that goat.) Admittedly this article only applies to those of you who are actually still friendly with your ex(s). If you’re not then good for you – what do you want a medal?

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. Inviting ex's to big events - weddings to be exact which basically means that this article is going to be about how to invite an ex to your wedding… Without pissing off your bride and everyone else who thinks your ex is toxic hellspawn. Now, I’m going to be honest; it’s not going to be easy. Unless of course your bride to be is totally cool with it and doesn’t feel paranoid, nervous or upset about it in anyway. If that is the case then I hate to break it to you - you’re not marrying a woman; you’re marrying a unicorn because such an understanding being does not exist. However if you’re sure it’s human then marry the shit out of her because seriously… what you’ve got is rare. If you’re not marrying a “unicorn” though first off commiserations, secondly not all hope is lost. Yes it might be hard to suggest to the current fire of your life that you want to invite a past flame – hard but not impossible. I should know, I’ve been the ex at a wedding and it went (relatively smoothly.) There were some hiccups along the way but here are some of my tips to help you…

Really think about it

Why are you actually inviting your ex? Are you genuinely friends? Are they actually important enough to merit the potential aggro? Or are you just inviting them out of obligation? Or worse are you just being vindictive? Really think about it. Because if you’re the dog that’s gonna brave the storm for an old buried bone, then that bone better be worth it.

Brace yourself for your bride’s reaction

She’s probably not going to like it. This could be for many reasons the main one being – why? Why are you inviting her if she means nothing to you? Why are we feeding the woman that used to ride you like Seabiscuit? Why should I even allow this? These are probably going to be the things that are gonna be running through her mind after you ask her. At the end of the day though, if she’s cool with it great (but be wary.) If she’s not cool with it, then for the sake of your relationship just let it go. You’re trying to marry your new woman not get your old one back, right? Right!?

Introduce the two

If you do manage to get the bride to agree to it, for peace of mind I suggest having the two meet before the big day (if they haven’t already.) That way both parties will have met and will be (somewhat) familiar with one another. Because trust me, there’s nothing worse than being caught off guard when it comes to meeting your boyfriends ex. It’s awkward enough in a regular situation; just imagine it at your wedding.

Lay down the law

If she’s agreed to it then you need to listen to any restrictions that she might have. For example, the ex can be invited to the reception not the ceremony, she has to be seated on a certain table, etc. Some of her suggestions may seem immature (don’t ever say that to her face though) but if you want your ex there, but your bride has conditions surrounding it… then you’re just going to have to give in. Seriously. Don't challenge it.

If your bride flat out says "no"

Then drop it. Seriously. Don't push it: there is no way you are going to come out looking innocent if you continue to ask/beg the bride. Her imagination is going to start running away with itself and before you know it, it'll cause tension/ an argument between the both of you and having an old love at your wedding is not worth risking your current love for.


Miriam is the Senior PR & Campaigns Executive for The Stag Company. Originally from New Zealand, she loves fashion, animals, and travelling.

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