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It was a memorable night, fortunately captured on camera because the booze has made you forget most of it, including 'whats-her-face' your mates had to surgically remove you from at the end of the night.
Your head’s pounding, you have a mouth like a nun’s chuff or a wrestler’s jockstrap, and it’s not a matter of if you’ll be sick, it’s a matter of when.
Hugging the toilet and retching like it’s an Olympic sport you think it will be okay as long as you don’t have to move. Unfortunately that’s not an option as the best man finds you, throws you your printed t-shirt and tells you to get ready for round 2. If you could move you’d probably kill him.
But this is a stag weekend, a time for endurance, and not dropping at the first hurdle. Easier said than done when you feel like a turd, but just like those shitty adverts for the army that ask you “would you give up here?” you’re going to have to get over your hangover quickly if you want to make it into the Stag Squad.
Here are some basics for you to remember in your time of need:
Hair of the Dog
The name apparently comes from the Scottish who believed that if you stuck hair of the dog that bit you to the wound it would prevent it getting infected. Forget the history lesson, all you need to know is it means hitting the booze again. This comes top of the hangover cures because chances are you still have another night of frantic antics to face. Hangovers are in part due to withdrawal from alcohol, so listen to your body and give in. Whether it’s a pint with your fried breakfast or a short and sharp shot the dreaded drink can go some way to ease the symptoms.
Coffee / tea / coke = caffeine
You don’t have to be a ponce, march to your nearest Starbucks and order a grande mocca wocca lula latte, but a good dose of caffeine from any source can help your headache and perk you up a little – which is great if you feel like you lost some brain cells the night before.
Not the coolest looking hangover cure, but probably the most essential, ideally you should drink before you sleep, if you can remember – just don’t drink too much or you could wake up in unfamiliar territory desperate for a pee, finding only the travel lodge wardrobe. Failing that though, guzzle like there’s no tomorrow the next day. If you want to jazz up your water and add a little pain relief, then Alka Seltzer can go a long way for relief. Although, if you’re prone to vomiting the morning after, don’t expect it to be as refreshing on the way up.
One of the more staple hangover cures. The fat contains plenty of calories for energy, and you’ll be feeling like you need some of that. Also apparently eggs contain something call cystene which apparently clears toxins, but who gives a shit as long as it tastes good and sorts you out.
Only if the stag do is over and you’re back home and can be cared for. Otherwise don’t even think about being a fanny and catching more ZZZs when there’s fun to be had.
These beauties have fructose and potassium in them which apparently you need and lose when you’ve been drinking. They also calm your stomach and have magnesium which should ease your a headache.
A freaky cocktail of shit someone’s granpa swears by.
Everyone knows someone with a weird hangover cure, here’s ours:
Shot of vodka
We can’t actually promise this will work but it might be fun to get one of the lads to try it out for you.