06 Nov 2017
Most of the focus of a wedding is on the bride. Whether it’s a comment about her big day or a story on how she has been imagining it since she was a girl, you would be forgiven for thinking there wasn’t a second party involved.
A groom is almost 50% of what a wedding is about…
It is vital therefore that the groom not only enjoy himself but also get it right the first time. After all, there is only one wedding to your spouse. We know it can be a tough day, so we have collated all the tips we can to make your day go smoothly and be the best it can be for the groom...
It can be very tempting to just give your best mates the honour of being an usher and forget about it but these are your ground troops. The smooth running of any wedding is down to organisation and your ushers will have plenty of time on their hands while bridesmaids have to help the bride get ready. They will not only look after the ring but are the face of the wedding answering any questions that guests may have. They also make sure everyone is where they need to be and in general make sure proceeding are smooth.
You should pick your ushers not just based on who your mates are but also who is reliable, and you can trust. You don’t want an already unruly mate to throw a spanner in the works. Pick only those that you know won’t let you down.
Plan out the day down to the minute months beforehand. Where you will be and when. It is important to include the ushers in the plan as they will be able to play it out while you are busy getting married! While it must seem a bit clinical and not spontaneous if you time everything right then you won’t have anything to worry about. That leaves you to just enjoy the day for what it is.
Another job for the groom to do before the wedding is book the honeymoon. He may be choosing the location of it is a joint decision. Either way, you want to book it as early as possible. This will both get it out of the way as another job done and also be cheaper the earlier you do it! After an expensive spend on the wedding day, you will be wanting to watch the wallet and the honeymoon can be your first bargain of the marriage.
When it comes to what you wear it is more important for the bride we admit. But that doesn’t mean you should not think about what you wear also. The key is to be as smart a possible. If you are not the most fashion-conscious groom, then DO NOT try to wing it and pick something yourself. Always get some help from others. That could be a fashionable mate or a professional. If all else fails just ask the bride what she would like you and the ushers to be wearing. That way you will avoid any clashes and know she will be happy. Then on the day itself make sure you give yourself plenty of time to get dressed and looking good!
Too many grooms rush into the wedding and are left found wanting when it comes to a toast. Make sure you start writing or at least thinking about it months ahead. Give yourself a two-week deadline to have everything written down and sorted. Then make sure you run it past a friend to test it.
The groom’s speech is not traditionally a jokes fest so don’t fill it with puns and inappropriate lines. That is the best man’s jobs. Just thank the right people and have a few nuggets of your own words about how you feel about the bride and getting married to her.
This might be harder than it needs to be if you have gone out the night before. Just don’t do that because it is not worth losing out on the big day with a hangover. Get a good alarm to make sure you wake up on time to get ready if you are still worried then get two of your most trusted ushers to also set alarms earlier than yours and to wake you up.
Another good tip for the morning of the wedding is to have a normal breakfast. You will likely be nervous, and we don’t blame you, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t eat. You will need all the energy you can get for the big day and that starts with a big breakfast. Trust us, you will thank us later.
A nice touch and to make sure the bride is smiling walking up the aisle is to surprise her with a present in the morning. Something personal and close to your relationship is perfect. Obviously, you can’t see her on the morning of the wedding so plot with a bridesmaid to give her the present themselves when the time is just right. This is only a small thing to do but it has such a big impact.
Now there is likely to be a bar at the wedding reception. Most of the guests at your wedding will be enjoying themselves and be glugging everything they can get their hands on. But you are not a guest with no risk of consequences. Let’s be honest you can get drunk anytime. Why ruin the wedding with hazy memories or bad behaviour all for the sake of a drink?
Our mates will be looking to buy drinks for you and celebrate but remember you’re the groom. You were supposed to get that out of your system on the stag weekend! By all means have a few so you can join in but remember when to say no and you will be glad the morning after when your hangover free and with a full memory of your wedding day.
Joshua writes with the scent of sea air and unwashed dreadlocks in his nostrils thanks to working from Brighton. He enjoys watching pretentious foreign films and trashy TV.View all posts by Josh
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