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Just as Christmas is all about receiving and over eating, stag weekends are not so much a celebration of the groom to be’s bachelor life but more about embarrassing and humiliating the stag whenever possible. It usually ranges from dressing him up in stupid outfit, getting the ugliest, fattest stripper you can find in the back of the Yellow Pages, or shaving some of his body hair (which is why this is always a good idea to have the stag do at least a few weeks before the wedding unless you really want to feel the wrath of a nervous bride).
We asked around and got some top tales of embarrassment which might help you when you want to do you best to make the stag feel like a total bell end.
Stranded and cuffed.
Looking back this was a bit stupid, but like so many things seemed like a good idea at the time. It was years ago and a group of us were in London for my friend Rich stag do. We were heading out for a curry and taking the tube, spirits were high and everyone was joking and having a good laugh. What Rich didn’t know is we’d planned an ambush and 2 stops before we were due to get off we held him down, took off his shoes, socks and shirt and handcuffed him to one of the handrails. When it got to our stop we all jumped off the train, leaving him on pissing ourselves. He was fuming as the train pulled away and we waved him off holding his shoes.
The only problem with this was that non of us are from London, and didn’t know you couldn’t get a mobile phone signal on the Underground. After we’d stopped laughing, which did take about half an hour we realised very quickly that we now had absolutely no idea where the stag was and had no way of contacting him.
The group decision was that Rich would have wanted us to soldier on and enjoy the evening without him, we were pretty sure at the time he wouldn’t have wanted us to worry. And so we did. It was a brilliant night and it was only when we got back to the hotel we realised how pissed off he was as he’d gone home and it was only the first night! Apparently he’d been stuck on the circle line for over 2 hours until some guards eventually managed to get him free. He’d had to borrow shoes and a jumper from their lost property and had then sulked his way back to the hotel and then home.
From the 20 strong stag group only 2 were invited to the wedding. Yeah looking back, not the best thing we’ve done and we don’t really see him any more, but the rest of us still laugh about it which is the important thing I think.
We took the stag out dressed as a woman and we were very proud of our drag efforts. High heels, make up trowelled on, ill fitting wig. He looked horrific. Think Meatloaf meets Cilla Black. He’d never been our round Manchester before but we’d done our research and took him to a gay nightclub. He found it funny at first but when he went to the loo we all legged it. Leaving him to wander round Manchester on his own looking for us dressed up in drag. Brilliant.
Pint sized fun
It seems really wrong and depending who you tell not everyone approves but one of the best stag dos I’ve been on involved hiring a dwarf dressed as school boy who had reins attached to the stag all night. He went everywhere with the stag and most people found it funny. Some people said we were cruel and taking advantage of people with disabilities. I don’t agree though, for 300 quid I think the wee fellar was laughing at us the whole night. Definitely worth it though
Coming round the camp fire
Our stag had wanted a quiet do and thought that camping would subdue us. We still managed to strip him, tie him to a chair and leave him in the middle of the camp site. That was funny, till we drank too much, fell asleep and forgot him. He was still there by morning, but had managed to wriggle so he was on his back, legs up still strapped to the chair.
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